A Celtic Knot Read online

  Dana reached for Catherine’s hand. She knew this subject was a difficult one for her daughter. “I had Catherine. Not everyone has that kind of love and support during such a difficult time. At first I felt I wasn’t ready or emotionally strong enough to be of help to anyone, but now I really enjoy helping other women through this difficult journey.”

  Olivia noticed how Catherine looked at her mother and then quickly looked away. She wanted to know what made her so uncomfortable. She felt intrigued by her quick temper and complex emotions. She craved to understand the many layers of Catherine O’Grady. This was not the time or the place. Olivia forced her mind back to the task at hand.

  She squeezed Dana’s shoulder. “Are you ready for your breast exam?”

  “I am.”

  Olivia helped Dana to lie back comfortably with her arms over her head. She rubbed her hands together several times to warm them. “Have you been doing your monthly self-exams?”

  “Religiously.”

  “Good girl.” Olivia began her examination, feeling for lumps in Dana’s breasts, underarms, and collarbone area. “You’ve been on your Tamoxifen for five years now, haven’t you?”

  “Yes. It’s hard to believe.”

  “I’m thrilled that you’ve made it to this milestone without recurrence. This means you can stop taking your Tamoxifen.”

  Dana linked her fingers behind her head. “Do you mind if I also talk to Ruth before I stop taking it?”

  “Not at all. I would recommend it.” Olivia moved her hands to Dana’s axilla. “Catherine, have you had a mammogram since your mother’s diagnosis?”

  “I’ve had two done and they were both normal. Dr. Ratcliff said I should have one annually.”

  Olivia moved to the other breast. “She’s right. I’m glad you’re following her advice.”

  “I trust her. She even had me bring in my mammogram films to my mother’s appointments so she could see them herself. She’s been terrific to both of us.”

  Olivia gently palpated Dana’s abdomen. “You wouldn’t feel that way if she’d pawned two mischievous little beasts off on you while she’s gone.”

  Dana laughed. “Oh, the ferrets! Olivia, you’re in for a very entertaining time with them.”

  “We’ll see. She dropped them off at my house on her way to the airport. Her beloved furry rodents better behave themselves, or I’ll pack them in a UPS box and ship them off to Phoenix.”

  “I highly recommend you not do that. That could well be the end of your very promising career.”

  Olivia laughed as she took her stethoscope from around her neck. “You’re probably right. I really do love working here so I think I’m stuck with Abbott and Costello till Ruth gets back.”

  She placed her stethoscope in her ears and listened to Dana’s lungs and heart, then hooked the instrument back around her neck. “Catherine, do you have any more questions for me?”

  “No. This is not meant as any offense to you, but I’m glad we had someone with Dr. Ratcliff’s years of experience care for my mother.”

  Olivia looked down at Dana. “That’s all I needed today—to meet your blunt, ego-bashing daughter. There’s no catching a break with her. She’s one tough nut to crack.”

  Dana grinned broadly. “You’re going to need to bring out the big guns on my little coconut.”

  Olivia gathered Dana’s gown to cover her breasts and helped her to sit up. “Catherine, you have every right to feel that way. Dr. Ratcliff has been an exceptional surgical oncologist for twenty years. Her experience is vast, and I hope to learn everything I can from her.”

  She turned back to Dana. “Your mammogram is negative and your breast exam is negative of any masses. I now give you my permission to escape from this office. It’s really a pleasure to see you and tell you that everything looks great.” She fought back the desire to stay in the room, to stay in the presence of Catherine O’Grady, rather than plunging back into the fray of a chaotic day. She walked to the door and took hold of the knob. “Dana, did you get the email about the lecture series this afternoon?”

  Dana faltered. “I did. I was pleased to see that you’d be speaking. I haven’t missed a lecture yet, but I think Catherine would probably prefer to head back to the bookstore.”

  Catherine hesitated. “You shouldn’t miss it because of me.” She swallowed hard and turned to Olivia. “What’s the subject of your lecture?”

  Olivia was perplexed by her discomfort. “I’ll be speaking about complimentary therapies for breast cancer. The feedback for the lecture series has been very positive. Ruth feels we need to educate medical professionals as well as the general public if we’re going to beat this beast. Our patients benefit from the information and that’s what means a lot to us.” Olivia eased the door open. “I’ll see you on your way out, Dana.” She was partially through the door when she turned back. “Oh, Catherine, I’ll rummage through our drawers and see if I can find a breast implant so the big jerk can practice his machismo.”

  Dana failed to suppress her laughter at the scorching look her daughter gave Olivia.

  Catherine narrowed her eyes as the door closed. “I hope her lecture this afternoon is much more impressive than her sense of humor.”

  Three

  CATHERINE AND DANA ENTERED the noisy amphitheater and carefully made their way up the steps to two empty seats. “I can’t believe the size of this crowd,” Catherine said. “There must be at least a hundred and fifty people here.”

  “Maybe they know that Dr. Carrington’s lecture is better than her sense of humor.”

  Catherine glared at her mother. “Smart ass.”

  Dana settled into the plush seat. “Thank you for coming with me, sweetheart. I know it’s uncomfortable for you to spend so much time around topics related to cancer.”

  Catherine looked away. “I wish it wasn’t, Mom. I wish I could be more supportive to your causes.”

  It had surprised Dana when Catherine agreed to attend the lecture. Catherine did her best to bury their experience with cancer and move forward. Dana respected that, but she felt differently. She’d beat her cancer and wanted to help other women find the same success, to help make this experience as tolerable as possible. It wasn’t always easy, but if that was the purpose of her breast cancer, then she’d continue to help in any way she could.

  She touched her daughter’s hand. “You’re the most wonderful daughter a mother could ask for. I love you for who you are and all the wonderful support you give me each and every day. Look at how you protected me from that big buffoon back there.”

  “I wasn’t about to let him or anyone else treat you that way.”

  Catherine looked around the amphitheater, wondering why she’d agreed to attend this lecture. How many of these women had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer? How many of them loved someone who had the disease? She could imagine what they were going through all too well, and she hated that feeling.

  Olivia stepped onto the stage below them. Catherine felt a flush of excitement. That irritated her. If she was honest with herself, the reason she’d agreed to be here was because Olivia intrigued her. She watched Olivia connect her laptop to the projector, moving effortlessly around her equipment. She was slim and graceful, with thick dark curls that bounced to her mid back. Catherine was drawn to her beauty, and that made her even more exasperated by Dr. Olivia Carrington. How could a woman she just met send so many emotions raging within her? She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

  Olivia slipped a wireless microphone around her ear and positioned the slim wire before her mouth. She thanked the technician helping her and moved to the center of the stage.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’re ready to begin.”

  The hum of voices stopped and everyone settled into a seat.

  “I’m Dr. Olivia Carrington, and I’d like to thank you all for attending my lecture today on complementary therapies. I’m flattered to see such a large crowd but I hope you all weren’t expecting to get
a free massage today.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “A complementary therapy is any therapy that complements the mainstream medical care for breast cancer. I believe that the human mind is a powerful healer and any therapy a woman chooses that will help to infuse her body with that healing power is a wonderful thing. We as women need to feel in control of our own bodies and our ability to overcome any illness. From acupuncture to massage therapy, aromatherapy to prayer, complementary therapies can strengthen our immune systems, treat symptoms, and improve our quality of life. Many women have stated that these therapies make them feel better and stronger.”

  Catherine settled back into her seat and listened intently as Olivia articulately went on to describe each different therapy and its benefits, moving about the stage and using computer images to keep the crowd’s rapt attention.

  “Women diagnosed with breast cancer endure so much during their treatment regime of surgery, radiation, and or chemotherapy,” she concluded. “If any of these complementary therapies help to comfort you physically, emotionally, and mentally then I’m all for it. It’s your own personal decision as to what may work for you. I feel it’s important that women know that these therapies are available to them. I’d like to now turn the microphones over to you and try to answer any questions you may have.”

  The lights came on in the amphitheater, Olivia easily answered several questions and had the crowd laughing at her responses.

  Catherine raised her hand and saw a man in the aisle pass her a microphone. He signaled for her to stand when it was her turn. As her eyes met Olivia’s, she felt an uncomfortable tightening in her belly.

  “You have a question for me, Catherine O’Grady?”

  “I do. I thought your lecture was excellent, but you focused on complementary therapies and never mentioned alternative therapies. I’m just wondering why.”

  “That’s an excellent question, Catherine. I didn’t mention alternative therapies because there’s a huge difference between alternative therapy and complementary therapy, when often those terms are used interchangeably. Alternative therapies are used instead of our conventional Western medical treatment. Examples of that are drugs that are illegal in the United States and commonly experimented with in other countries. Nothing has been proven with their use. They have not been studied scientifically and the risks and complications are unknown. Another example of alternative medicine is choosing to use a special diet rather than the surgery, radiation, or chemotherapy that we would prescribe in our practice.

  “The huge problem is that women are led to believe in these alternative therapies and they have not proven to cure cancer or cause remission. They only delay the medical treatment that you need to receive.”

  “So, because alternative therapies go completely against your conventional Western-medicine upbringing you decide not to discuss them in your lecture?”

  A low hum enveloped the room as Olivia took several steps across the stage.

  “I won’t apologize for my education and subsequently my beliefs in the strength and success of our mainstream medical care. I’ve operated on hundreds of women and seen them succeed with radiation and chemotherapy. No other therapy can offer that kind of success, and successful therapy is what we strive for.”

  “I’m not asking for your apologies, Dr. Carrington. We as women are only asking for all the information available to us. We’ll make our own informed consent. You have to have more faith in us to know that for the most part we’ll weed through what’s right and wrong and make the decisions that are right for us.”

  The silence was deafening as Catherine handed back the microphone. The applause in the room started slowly and built to a steady beat. Catherine took her seat as her mother took her hand and squeezed it tight. From the stage, Olivia gave her a piercing look that unsettled her. Olivia was clearly angry, but there was something else in the look that Catherine couldn’t interpret.

  “Point taken. Some types of complementary or alternative therapies may interfere or be harmful when used with a treatment regime already prescribed by your conventional Western medicine doctor. I just ask that before you decide to use any of these therapies, please speak to your doctor so you can discuss the possible risks and benefits. Also check with your insurance company to see which of these therapies are covered. Are there any other questions?”

  Olivia answered questions for another twenty minutes before she ended the lecture. Everyone gave her a standing ovation before they began to file slowly out of the amphitheater.

  Catherine sat stiffly in her chair.

  “Are you okay?” Dana asked.

  “I’m okay. I believe that Olivia has now officially taken me off her Christmas card list.”

  Dana laughed. “Why don’t you go talk to her?”

  Catherine stared at her mother. “Are you kidding? I don’t think Dr. Olivia Carrington wants to hear another word from me.”

  Dana smiled. “I know you, darling. You’re going to beat yourself up till you make peace between you and Olivia. If you do want to talk to her, I wouldn’t mind going up to the fifth floor to visit with one of Ruth’s patients. She had a lump removed yesterday. I wouldn’t be long. I’d just like to make sure she has everything she needs.”

  Catherine closed her eyes. She could at least give her mother the time she needed to support another woman going through surgery. It had been a long time since Dana talked about the women she visited. Catherine could show her how proud she was of her.

  “You should do that, Mom. You can call me on your cell phone when you’re done. We can meet in the front foyer of the hospital.”

  Dana leaned in close and kissed her daughter’s cheek. “Thank you, sweetheart. I’ll see you in a little while.”

  Catherine watched her mother make her way along the aisle and climb down the steps. A group of women walked off the stage after talking to Olivia. The two who remained—one of them pregnant—stood intimately close to her as they talked together, then hugged her before leaving the stage. Catherine recognized them as customers she’d seen in Cocoa Cream and was intrigued by their closeness with Olivia. She rose from her seat. “It’s now or never,” she told herself.

  Catherine made her way toward the stage as Olivia gathered her equipment. She found the stairs along the wing and slowly climbed them.

  She stood close by and watched Olivia wind the electrical cord and place it on the bottom of her cart. The amphitheater felt cold and hollow. “We’re the only ones left behind, Dr. Carrington. Please feel free to tell me why my question infuriated you so much.”

  Olivia stayed with her back to Catherine and removed her jacket. She carefully draped it across the metal cart and slowly turned to face her. “Alternative therapy is a very touchy subject with me, Catherine, as you may have noticed. I don’t believe in it and I don’t want women to waste their time looking into it. I want them to spend what energy they have on positive therapies that complement their medical treatment. Not hinder the best care they can get.”

  “I agree with you, but I also feel we have a right to investigate all the treatments available. When my mother was first diagnosed, we read every piece of literature we could get our hands on. With Dr. Ratcliff’s help, we made the best decisions we could for her treatment. We felt comfortable with our plan because we’d exhausted all the information at our disposal. We felt in control of her healing process. You can’t hold back information from women because of your own personal beliefs, Dr. Carrington. That will only leave them resentful and distrusting of your motives.”

  Olivia took a step toward Catherine. “I offer my patients a book of information on all the complementary therapies I presented today. I give them safe, proven information and let them integrate anything that works for them. I support their choices when I know it’ll help their treatment regime.” Olivia shoved her hands into her pockets. “Why do I have the feeling this has so much more to do with your mother’s appointment this afternoon than my presentation? I
know you were angry with me, Catherine, but I’m surprised you tried to embarrass me in front of my audience.”

  “My question had nothing to do with embarrassing you in front of your audience, Dr. Carrington, or about my mother’s appointment. I would’ve thought you had stronger self-esteem than that. My question had nothing to do with you at all. It’s purely about access to information. My mother feels comfortable spending time with women who are newly diagnosed. I don’t. I have a difficult time with their fear and anguish. But I own a bookstore, and I make sure the shelves are stocked with all the current literature about breast cancer. I may sound cowardly to you compared to my mother, but that’s where I feel I can help. It’s my comfort zone.”

  “That’s hardly cowardly, Catherine. That’s very admirable and a huge contribution to what women need when they’re diagnosed.” She moved closer. “But why would you even consider alternative therapies?”

  Catherine took a deep breath. She felt hesitant to talk about this with Olivia, and yet somehow she needed to. “I looked into alternative therapy because I’m scared. My family history has me terrified. My father died three months after he was diagnosed with stomach cancer.”

  “I read that in your mothers chart. I’m so sorry.”

  Catherine looked away from that expression of pure compassion. “Your traditional Western medicine has worked wonderfully for my mother but nothing worked for my father. Western medicine only intensified his pain and made his last months with us excruciating. We did that to him. I have every right to want to know about alternative therapies.” Catherine fought back her tears. “When my father died, I was so angry and grief stricken that I lost faith in your wonderful Western medicine. Why can’t we find a cure for cancer, Olivia? We pour money into prevention, early detection, treatment, and research and yet people are still dying.”